On my last blog takeover from my friends, we have Shelby! She has learned a lot over the years about not carrying or worrying about what other people think and wanting to share her insight and tips with you all!
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Throughout my life I have learned how to integrate a mindset of not caring what others think. This also includes being honest and speaking up, which is not to be confused with being disrespectful and rude. There is a big difference between living your life in disregard to others’ judgements and opinions versus living in disregard of others’ feelings and beliefs. In society these days we spend so much time and energy worrying about what everyone else thinks of our actions, words, clothing, blemishes, size, etc. All of these things put so much stress on us mentally and physically. Some of us may have underlying mental illnesses that make this mindset more difficult to achieve, but it is plausible.
This mindset is also achieved by having confidence. I encourage you to think about or write down what you believe your qualities are — may they be physical, mental, or just characteristics. If you are having trouble thinking of some, ask some family or friends. By focusing on your strong suits, you are able to obtain a more positive and uplifting mindset, carrying confidence in your daily life while working on other goals for growth. Having self-confidence in who you are and truly seeing your worth allows you to be confident in your actions, behavior, clothing, etc. Embrace your differences, and I also encourage you to tie this in with your moral, ethics, and intentions in life. If you personally believe you do not have ill intentions (check yourself, be honest), you can tell yourself that. If there is a time when you are doing something, simply not caring what others think and you hear gossip or slander on your name, think to yourself “did I have ill intentions during this act?” If the answer is no, then you as a person know that you did nothing wrong and who you are, and that’s all that matters. Now this only works if you are truly brutally honest with yourself.
Of course, we all like to impress someone on a first date or job interview, but we are able to proceed with confidence if we know the qualities we hold. For example, say you are having a bad hair day or not feeling confident with your outfit, focus and capitalize on your attributes to give you that boost because who cares about your hair if you have all these other amazing qualities.
Speaking of being brutally honest and not caring what others think, let’s talk about speaking up and being brutally honest with respect to others. Again, for this to work you should keep in mind your intentions. While we all have different beliefs and what we see as right or wrong, I believe if you are speaking up in a mannerism that deems your intentions as unadulterated, what you have to say should be understood. Now this goes for many things across the board like telling your friend you think they are wrong, speaking of injustices, sharing your feelings, being confrontational, etc. Many people appreciate honesty and openness as it allows for stronger relationships and trust along with less miscommunication. We never have to play a guessing game on how others are feeling or “tip toe” around situations if we just speak up with altruism.
Breaking things down:
1) Think of what you are going to say or do.
2) What are your intentions behind saying this? Is it going to fix a problem? Is it helpful? Will it be hurtful to others? Would it be more beneficial to collect your thoughts before you speak/act?
3) If your intentions are pure and meaningful, say it or do it.
4) If someone rebuttals your words or actions negatively and you see it necessary to respond. Speak your intentions.
It was a pleasure taking over this week, I hope my advice brings each of you the encouragement and/or inspiration to alter your mindset and learn to speak up honestly. Take control of your life and start living genuine and remarkable lives without worries of others’ opinions.
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I hope you all enjoyed not only Shelby’s blog, but all of my friends’ blogs. As always, feel free to reach out with any questions or just thoughts!